So you’re being judged about wanting to travel as the world gradually emerges from Covid-19 pandemic. How should you handle this judgment about traveling? This post will explain six ways to help you deal with being judged about travel.
*Quick caveat, I’m not advocating that anyone definitely should or should not travel. That is up to your personal decisions and keeping in-line with government safety guidelines & health professional recommendations. Rather, I hope to shed light on the psychology of responding to criticism as it has been a big concern for a lot of travelers lately.
People who are being judged tend to respond in three basic categories. There are those who readily change because of judgment (in positive or less positive ways), those who entrench themselves against any change, and those who try to balance the judgement while still recognizing their own needs. Which one of these categories do you typically fall under?
For most of us, we’d like to think we are the latter description. Meaning, we consider the judgment and take the things that seem fair or reasonable and integrate them into our decisions and actions. I’ll be honest. I’m usually the swift-changer or the dig-my-heels in type (depending on the context) rather than the open-minded-accept-all-judgment-with-ease type.
What about you? Have you halted your travel plans or become even more determined to travel when you’ve been judged? There’s a great book by psychologist/economist Daniel Kahneman called Thinking, Fast and Slow that really highlights the mental shortcuts we take when making decisions we feel are “totally rational”. Definitely worth a read with this context in mind.
What to Consider When Responding to Criticism
There are several things that influence how we can respond to criticism about traveling. Perhaps obvious, but we should consider the judgement itself. A common reflex is to counter-attack the person doing the judging. In fact, getting defensive is our typical starting line when a judgment occurs.
However, one of the best ways to respond to criticism starts by asking what parts of the statement may contain some fair/reasonable points. Yes, even if you disagree with the overall fairness or accuracy, do any of the parts offer areas you could consider further?
For example, consider a statement like “You’re stupid if you want to go to the beach right now! Haven’t you seen those videos on the news, they are jam-packed and unsafe!” Although you may disagree with this perspective, one part of it is a factual point that going to an over-crowded place (at the time of this writing) has not been clearly shown to be totally safe.
Are there more isolated beaches you could visit instead? Should you wait until the safety of being in crowded groups is more clear? By asking what part of the judgment may have fair points, it can help you feel less hurt by judgment and even guide you towards making the best decisions for yourself.
Who is Judging your Travel Decisions?
Another influence on how we respond to criticism involves how we view the attributes of the “judge”. Do they have a history of trustworthiness or inconsistencies? It’s possible that the judgment may actually be out of care and concern for you rather than for rudeness sake. For those who we know to be trustworthy, we are more likely to take their judgment into more thoughtful consideration.
What is our relationship with the “judge”? Close friend or anonymous internet poster? We are more likely to consider words of judgment from friends than by strangers (though comments from strangers can certainly still sting!).
How much knowledge does the “judge” have about the situation? We take more stock in people we perceive to have more information, knowledge, or authority on a topic. So, be mindful of who is offering the judgment.
Travel Perspective
Travel judgments hurt less when we consider that the judgment is about a travel decision, not about you as a whole person. Keep that context in mind.
When you respond to any kind of criticism (not just travel-related), when does it go best for you? What are the factors that have let you express your perspectives or concerns without escalating the issue? Consider responding when you are clear-headed (i.e., not before you’ve had your morning coffee, late at night, or when you’re under the influence), have a moment of privacy, and after cooling down any heated emotions.
Sometimes the best response is no response. If no response is required, or might even escalate the problem, remember that you have the option of letting it slide.
Finally, remember to keep your perspective: It’s just travel. Is this the issue you want to take a stand on? It may or may not be (only you can determine that), but it’s a lot easier to rebuild travel plans than to rebuild relationships.
The Six Steps to Deal with Judgment about Traveling
To summarize, here are the six steps to help you cope with hurtful criticisms about travel activities.
- Rather than asking if any judgment is fair or not, consider what parts may have some fair aspects. For some great tips on our mental shortcuts, check out the very interesting book Thinking, Fast and Slow.
- Consider your history and relationship with the “judge”.
- Remember that the judgment is about a travel decision, not about you as a whole person.
- Reflect on the factors that have worked best for you in the past when responding to criticism. Find the right time and place to respond.
- Sometimes the best response is no response; remember you may have that option.
- Keep your perspective: It’s just travel.
What do you think? Are travel judgments a helpful “checks and balances” system for our society following pandemics/health issues, or is unfair criticism hurtful and restrictive for well-meaning travelers?
Comment with your thoughts below, and remember to sign up for the Psychology of Travel Newsletter for more thought-provoking travel information.
Happy Travels,
Dr. L
Founder of Psychologyoftravel.com
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Thanks for this post. This is a much needed perspective on the current situation. Have to say, the “judgment” is a factor I’m somewhat anxious and apprehensive about since we have upcoming travel and I can sense this coming. You’ve given me (us) some good points to consider.
I hear you Art, sometimes feel the same way! Glad you found some helpful points to consider, and wishing you well on your upcoming travels!